You won't believe this, but it really did happen. I tell you it's one for the books, but since y'all don't read them anymore - here I am!
It's 2:14 am, I keep jolting from my sleep to confirm he's not lying next to me. Funny how that giddy butterfly feeling you get when you fall in love can turn into bottomless spasms of fear.
I fall asleep again, wait! I feel a warmth in the bed, someone's next to me. Is that him? Impossible! I locked the door, he can't get in. I open my eyes, it's my daughter. She came to my bed because she has the same feeling I do. I don't have a word for it, quite yet.
We met in Karura forest on 12th October. I had this nudging push to go hiking on a Sunday afternoon. Those who know me understand how difficult a fit that was - leaving the house on a Sunday. I went with my daughter; our goal was to cover the entire 10km, which we did. Note to self, where you first meet a person matters.
We approach the waterfall. If you were not aware that Karura forest has a waterfall, now you know. Though short-lived like a one-minute man, it's still a sight to behold, but not for long. Around the bend, two men approach us, walking in a way that suggests they want to talk to us. One of them stops me asking for the exit to Limuru road, says they're lost (come to think of it, that should've been a red flag - a man openly admitting he is lost). Luckily, I read all the signs on the boards, so I directed him. He's still not leaving, and he asks if my daughter is my sister. I'm like, here we go again, someone who wants me to show my episiotomy scar to believe I gave birth. Anyway, I went along with the small talk; it went on and on. I put up with it because I was distracted by how radiant his skin was not to mention his build.
He asks for my number, I give him my business card because most people would put it in their pocket and forget about it, then it would be washed and destroyed. My daughter and I walk away to the waterfall. We continue with our hike towards the Kiambu road exit. There's a food truck right inside the entrance, so we have a hot dog and fries. The irony! It's like restoring the calories we had just burned during the hike. We board a matatu and head home.
I didn't think much of the man with the radiant skin until Tuesday when he texted me. Most people would have texted the same day they got the number. So I gave him some points for taking his time. We didn't chat; he was just introducing himself. The next day we chat a little you know, the getting to know each other phase. We were doing video calls by day 4, I guess, trying to confirm there’s no one else, haha! He asked me out on a date and I told him Tuesday would be great, it’s my favorite day of the week, and we would go to my favorite restaurant. Those of you wondering how someone would go on a date on Tuesday? It’s one of the perks of working remotely as a Virtual Assistant. He is a gym trainer and body builder (hence the build) who starts his day at 4 am, and by noon, he’s already done with his workout and clients.
I got to town 30 minutes later than when we were to meet, trust me, I was anxious about being late. The meeting point was Nation Center because my best friend works there and I wanted to get a giggle in before the date. My friend and I wait for the man with the build as we chat and catch up. It would be good to mention that my bestie is a man (yeah, I can hear your thoughts on that, but keep it to yourself), we have known each other for 10 years now, since we joined the campus in 2015, shoutout to you bff! Thirty minutes go by, my date hasn’t shown yet, he said he was five minutes away when I had informed him of my arrival. That was red flag number two - lying about how far he was. I am now getting impatient, and I tell my friend that I’m going back home but he urges me to wait. I call my date again, he is asking where Nation Center is, I’m like lord help me. He decides to take a boda (motorbike) and gets there about 40 minutes later. I had waited for him for an hour. I introduce him to my bestie and we leave for the restaurant. He orders too much food, and I am like I hope he pays for it because these days it’s no guarantee. I ask what took so long, he says he didn’t know where Nation Center is and I ask where in town he is familiar with, he says Archives. I ask why he didn’t admit to that in the first place, because we could have met at Archives. I am not surprised that he doesn’t know his way around town because if you have no business in town, you won’t know the various landmarks.
We have a nice conversation about work, family, and future aspirations. I ask all the vital questions that I have come to learn need to be discussed on the first date. The date went well, I like him.
We started officially seeing each other, and I knew his place, he knew mine. I only went to his place once; the rest of the time, he came to my place. He is committed; he was with me every weekend, Friday to Sunday. He was emotionally present. He did not drink or smoke. He would stay in the house without feeling the need to go outside. I enjoyed it because my love language is spending quality time. Everything was going well.
Until yesterday.
I was in the kitchen and went to my bedroom to change. I step on something. I check under the crocks and it looks like saliva. Then I recall stepping on saliva the week before because I touched under my foot and smelled it but my brain could not process that, so I wiped it and forgot about it. So when the same happened yesterday, I connected the dots. I call him to the bedroom and ask what that was on the crock. He says he doesn’t know. I tell him it’s the second time I am stepping on something in the bedroom. I ask, do you usually spit? He says he doesn’t remember the last time he spat. “So is this spit mine?” I ask. He starts looking guilty. I tell him to wipe it, then he looks at me in shock as though I should wipe it. I walk away back to the kitchen. He comes to me and says he has wiped it. Note that all this time, he hasn’t admitted to doing it. He was on his way out anyway, so I escorted him downstairs while talking to myself because I didn’t understand why he would do that. I mean, the toilet is right there in the bedroom, a step away from where he spat. I ask him to explain why he did that, but he says nothing. He reaches for a hug, then he leaves. I go back upstairs, confused as hell. I call my mom, yes, she is my friend, we talk about anything and everything. I tell her what happened and she also doesn’t get why anyone would do that. She says, “hizo ni tabia za kichaka.” I tell her it makes sense because we met kwa kichaka (Karura Forest). She laughed so hard she had to hang up to avoid choking.
I decide to take breakfast while I watch my series to get my mind off it. In the second episode, my bestie calls. He has a way of sensing when I am not ok. I tell him what happened and he is also perturbed. I speak to him while on my bed, then I notice gum stuck on the bed. I tell him I need to inspect the room because it seems a lot has been going on without my knowledge. I notice sputum on the wall, the yellow kind that comes from the throat. It’s dried up in the way it was flowing, if you get what I mean. I am now shocked! I notice another sputum on the floor in a separate corner from the rest, which was not dry yet. Now I’m mad! I call the man and tell him I found sputum on the floor, he asks where, as if I was supposed to send the exact coordinates.
I tell him, “You know what, I cannot be with a person who does not respect my space and doesn’t respect me as well, because I clean the house, plus you expected me to wipe your saliva before. I mean, we share this space and…” He hung up on me. I called my rider to come get his clothes so he can deliver them to his place. Meanwhile, I wash the house thoroughly, wipe the door handles and wish there was a way I could clean the ceiling too!
The dishonesty coupled with matharau is what got to me. They say the little things matter, and they do because how do you come back from that? If you saw how fine that man is, you would not believe he would do such a thing. Oh well, have a merry Christmas and a prosperous 2026!